I'm Loosing My Hair!!!

I was looking at my hair natural hair diary yesterday. This includes hair videos pictures since I started my natural hair journey, and I got depressed. On July1st 3 years ago I started my natural hair journey. My hair is now shorter than it was last year, quite sad. It’s significantly shorter, by inches. I knew it was breaking off but I did not realize it was this bad till I looked at my dairy. I’m shredding, loosing hair, I’m not quite sure how healthy it is at the moment, don’t even want to think about it.


I am very sad about this regress. I don’t know what to do. Don’t have all my products here; I’m not doing what I normally do to it, the sun, not eating/living healthy, all this is taking its toll. I know there are better things in life to worry about like, starving children, wars, disease but just had to get this out.



Summer june 13 2010



july 2010



june 2010




july 2010

 I don’t know what to do to get it back to where it was. I am at lost of words. Other than the fact I’m not taking proper care of my hair, I genuinely miss doing my hair, playing with it, trying different styles. This is one thing I always say I miss most America. And yesterday I got proof that its, BAAAD.

I might just lock it and cut it when I get back to the U.S. and start fresh, however, I don’t know how my community will; feel about that. Cutting it now will be worst, so I’m just out of options.





december 2010



july 2011

I  know these pic dont help bu its BAAAD

A year In, Looking Forward to the Next!!!!!!

Sometime today a year ago, I left America, answering to one of the most important, life changing calls’ of life. Tomorrow, it will be a year in country. At the moment writing, I’m in Dakar, at our PC Senegal office, in the volunteer lounge. My purpose for being here: Liz, one of my rocks in country went home, to Amerique for vacation, so I decided to see her off for, the time being (she better comes back), mid service check-up. I must say all is in order, minus a few chest pains and an infection that is been taken care-off at the moment, and what’s ALWAYS a bonus, getting into some trouble and eating till I drop. Oh and I found out I’ve putt on some weight. OH rice, how I hate thou!



I remember when I first got off the plane, about 2am. The humid air at such hour in the morning was my welcome to Africa, then everyone at the airport trying to be your friend, while looking for some handouts. We them drove about 3hrs to the Theis, and then definitely knew I was in the land of tengana (hospitality), the staffed welcomed us, with joy, big hugs, laughter and OFFCOURSE some dancing at about 5am. The entire I was thinking how these can people be so jovial at cette l’heurre.

I’m at the point of my service, we I’ve just accepted the little things, like taking 12hrs just to travel to the capital from my site, due to bad roads, car troubles and just plain greedy people. Accepted, that rice is a main dietary staple, people listening to music on full blast without headphones. Where little things just don’t bother me anymore, or it just depends on the day. I’m also at the point where the things and people of Senegal that I love, I love more and just appreciate, and the others that just annoy me; my tolerance for accepting them is just deteriorating. I’m, also at the point where I’m well integrated enough, that I’ve realized although I’m here to learn these people’s culture and valves, I should remember not to loose myself in the process and what I believe in, what are my values. Although by no small defeat, this will help shape Pamela.

I’m comfortable enough to let them see the true Pam, while still respecting their values, although this is not a two way street. I find myself constantly defending what, I do, why I do it and how things are just not the same in the U.S. Most of all, my thinking of “you don’t have to understand or agree with ones values and beliefs; you just have to respect it,” is now deeply rooted in me.

Is PC what I thought it would be? No. I did not have much expectations coming into PC, I just had a goal of giving back and helping my birth land, giving it something to be proud. I wanted my first home to move forward, with the help of my second, with me as a guiding light. After all that was one of my main reasons for going after my American Citizenship, to serve and become a PCV.

I was expecting more development work and experience, and less cultural exchange. I was expecting to have more projects by now (they say that usually comes in the second here), more sustainability work and a more a defined program and my purpose of being here and how to help and move the people of my community forward.


If I could go back will I still do PC? Yes. It has been one of the best experiences of my life, and I’m looking forward to my next year, with apprehension and joy. I have made a difference, I have helped my community. I’ve made long lasting friends, Senegalese and Americans. I always have a family and home somewhere here in Senegal. I’ve given people here stories to tell for years to come. I’ve placed smiles on peoples’ faces, bonded and made a connection with this country that will always be a part of me. It has raised more questions for me, about my future, my dreams aspirations, and values beliefs, relations, and relationships, and the true meaning of friendships. . It has shattered what I once knew and just giving me a new lens for looking at life.

So clinking the champagne glass and waiting for the next leg of this journey.

Thanks to those who have helped keep my sanity along the way, the emails, messages, and calls.

Loving the many parts of Pamela

:)



America: I Appreciate You

The more I learn about the Senegalese culture, its people, and values the more I’ve come to truly appreciate America and the comforts its offers to those who are fortunate enough to live there. There are things that are just part of the American life, which one takes for granted that becomes quite eminent, while leaving in the middle of no where.


And no it’s just the obvious things that you that are just a evident part of life, the yang to the yang of life, such as, clean running water, 24hrs electricity, Aced rooms, internet 24/7, a sit down toilet. Or not even a properly function car, people being on time, health care, etc functioning public transportation system, getting everything I need without leaving the house(although that I do miss sometimes, lol).


It’s the abstracts and sometimes not so abstract things like the right to a free education, the time allotted for I, JUST TO BE A KID, a government that helps me out when I fall down on luck, the right to choose, free thinking, to be independent, to dream, to believe, that I can be whatever I choose, and that the sky is truly the limit. The choice to have and make educated decision, having education discussions, to hold my political leaders accountable, (now with it been election season), to see free and (maybe not so) fair elections, the change of command without major hassle, or the president trying to change the constitution to suit his needs. With all this election hoopla, I just think back to the day President Obama took the oath of office and became the 44th president of the United States. Most people did not like it, hated him but, its was done drama free, its just amazing to see such peaceful transfer of power that most countries don’t enjoy and most people of the world will never experience.


I do also miss the customer is always right, as customer service is nonexistent in this country. Sometimes you would think you were begging people to give you their products for free, by the way they act towards their customers. I also miss being treated as an equal because of my gender. Here I’m just a second class citizen, were my opinion does not matter and my only domain is in the domestic arena.


Most of all I miss the right to just be ME. I always have to constantly defend why I do things the way I do things. The way I dress, walk, do my hair, talk, etc.

One thing journey has helped be realized is how fortunate I was to grow up in the United States, things that we take for granted that are just the way of life are not even foreseen in this culture. It has made me truly proud to be an American, and now I see what all the fuss is about for that blue book. (American passport).

Rebeled and did some twists