This might come as a surprise to most of you, Pam wanting a hug! As must of you know I'm not the touchy feeling type but been here, I've just missed that good ole feeling of someone caring. Just a hug to show someone is thinking of you and just a hug, when it seems all it lost. You know a hug has that power, just to wipe away that sad feeling make everything just a tad bit better.
People here are not big not hugs, not even saying I love you, there is no exact translation for this phase. Just feeling lost, alone, missing friends back home. No matter how nice people are here its just not the same to have that network of support you have back home. Sometimes people just don't comprehend what this experience is all about and think you are just been crazy for missing home, or been a little down.
Just feeling alone, left out, missing all the friends and things going on. Did not know I'll miss good ole USA this much, but its just when you have to eat the same thing one more time, you've been eating the entire week, when someone just decides not to show up for a meeting, your family telling you, you can't do nothing right, making fun of you. After saying good morning the first thing your mom wants is something from you, asking for this of that. Been overcharged once again in the market just for been a Toubab and they think you have money. Your own family cheating you, JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN!!! AND THERE IS NOT A DARN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!! People rejecting your ideas and projects for work, always constantly defending America, culture and views, even things you don't personally identify with, BUT you have to defend as that all makes up the American culture.
No matter how one try true intergeneration would never be achieved, because at the end of the day you are still an outsider, you will never truly be a part of the family, never be a Senegalese. Things will always be foreign to you. And at the end of the day you can't blame anyone after-all, this is just two years and you leave that family and try to get back in to the heat of good ole USA...
In having all of this and feeling life passing you by. A good Ole BEAR hug, will just do, will be quite the cure and assurance that all will be okay. It's in the back of your head that all would be okay, BUT having that reassurance now and them won't hurt!!
***hugs*** all the way to Senegal for my Pam Pam! You know I always hugged you regardless of how you felt about them. & there is an even bigger one awaiting your return. Love you sweetheart! Try to enjoy the experience b/c when it's over... it's over.
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